Abusers are notorious for rushing the first stage of intimacy, something that’s often described by survivors as a kind of ‘love-bombing’. ―Jess Hill Love bombing is just what it sounds like. An explosion of expensive gifts and meals, grand gestures, effusive displays of affection, expressions of admiration or unsolicited sexting. (It is called…

Do not adjust your mind – the fault is in reality.  –R.D. Laing The term “gaslighting” comes from a 1940’s movie where the sociopath husband makes his wife think she is crazy by randomly adjusting the lighting, hiding things and deliberately making her question her reality. Gaslighting is not the same as lying. It’s an…

I’m not in denial, I’m just selective about the reality I accept. –Bill Watterson Denial is a type of defense mechanism or coping strategy described as sticking your head in the sand or ignoring the elephant in the living room. The Emperor’s New Clothes is a story to explain collective denial. Denial can keep us stuck, ignoring the…

Learned helplessness is the giving-up reaction, the quitting response that follows from the belief that whatever you do doesn’t matter. –Arnold Schwarzenegger The experiment for learned helplessness involved dogs who received a mild shock when attempting to change their circumstances. Eventually those poor pups gave up even after the shock mechanism…

People only accept change when they are faced with necessity, and only recognize necessity when a crisis is upon them. –Jean Monnet There is an adage that if a frog is put in a pot of boiling water he will jump out. However, if placed in very gradually heating water, he…

Be careful…not all are what they seem, some people pretend to be the beach but they’re actually quicksand. –Steve Maraboli We get stuck. We go round and round in a difficult, dysfunctional relationship unable to break free and we ask ourselves how did I get here? In this section we will…

Like: In this relationship am I trying so hard to be loved that I’m losing my self respect?Respect: In this relationship am I able to keep my self respect while still able to soften when needed?Do Nothing: Should I deliberately do nothing such as meditation or quietly sitting the situation…

I got divorced at Christmas.  So I bought an electric train set and nailed it to the dining room table – because I could. –John Prine If your relationship is lacking more of the essentials than it is providing, it’s time to reconsider. You can do couples counseling. You can…