I am tired of myself tonight. I should like to be somebody else.― Oscar Wilde I love the word ennui. Pronounced “on whee” and when said,I visualize a 1920’s drama queen putting the back of her handto her forehead saying: “Alas, I have ennui”. It is a French wordthat essentially…

There are wounds that never show on the body that are deeperand more hurtful than anything that bleeds.― Laurell K. Hamilton My views on depression and the use of anti-depressants maybe controversial. One way I view depression is as “a cocoon ofchange”, also known as grief – normal and necessary…

Our anxiety does not come from thinking about the future, butfrom wanting to control it.― Kahlil Gibran Anxiety tends to be about the future. It is the “what ifs”. “Whatif I make a fool of myself?” “What if something goes wrong?”“What if I am alone for the rest of my…

Closure happens right after you accept that letting go is moreimportant than projecting a fantasy of how the relationshipcould have been. — Sylvester McNutt It is far more difficult to let go of the illusion than the reality. Wehold fast to the fantasy of what could be and deny the…

The only person unhappier than a writer whose expectations aren’tfulfilled is one whose dreams come true.–Stephen King Fear of failure and fear of success look very similar and seem to be equally paralyzing, Fear of failure keeps us from starting, fear of success keeps us from finishing. For example, encouragingsomeone…

The paradox of trauma is that it has both the power to destroy and the power to transform and resurrect. –Peter A Levine When any kind of existential threat occurs, our bodies receive a jolt of adrenaline, and we go into trauma response mode. (Fight, flight, freeze, faint, fawn.) We…

If things feel crazy and you can not put your finger on it, lookfor addiction. I describe it as something someone will do to relieve their craving, such as go out in the middle of the night in a snowstorm wearing fuzzy slippers to obtain. This includes alcohol, drugs, smokes,…

Boundaries empower us to determine how we’ll be treated by others. –Anne Katherine Boundaries set limits with others, keep you from feeling taken advantage of, and establish the rules of respect. Open borders on boundaries are an invitation for those who tend to push the limits to shove their way…

Abusers are notorious for rushing the first stage of intimacy, something that’s often described by survivors as a kind of ‘love-bombing’. ―Jess Hill Love bombing is just what it sounds like. An explosion of expensive gifts and meals, grand gestures, effusive displays of affection, expressions of admiration or unsolicited sexting. (It is called…

Do not adjust your mind – the fault is in reality.  –R.D. Laing The term “gaslighting” comes from a 1940’s movie where the sociopath husband makes his wife think she is crazy by randomly adjusting the lighting, hiding things and deliberately making her question her reality. Gaslighting is not the same as lying. It’s an…