Home is the place where if you have to go there they have to take you in. –Robert Frost
Home should be a safe, soft place to land. For this to work, families must be accountable to the same three essentials – reciprocity, reliability and respect as anyone else. Yet we excuse bad behavior because “it’s family”. Society and religion often condone or ignore ill treatment because we have been taught that families are sacred. “Honor thy father and thy mother”. “Blood is thicker than water.” Yet even the Bible acknowledges family dysfunction: “And a person’s enemies will be those of his own household.” (Matthew 10:36.) Families are essential to our survival from birth. Without them, we would die. On some level we are always aware of this, which is why we continue to seek acceptance and connection. This is fine if the family is nurturing. When it is not, it can be demoralizing, debilitating and often impacts all our other relationships.