I hold a little fundraiser every day. It’s called going to work. — Stephen Colbert Most of us work. As an Employee Assistance Provider (EAP), I often do work-related confidential counseling. I find the number one concern expressed by clients is dealing with other people. It might be the passive-aggressive…
Category: Simplifying Relationships with Other People
Our greatest joy and our greatest pain comes in our relationships with others. –Stephen R. Covey
The trouble with relationships is other people. We have friends and neighbors, partners and lovers. We live in communities, we come from families, and we earn our living working with or for other people. This book and blog utilizes tools to help you determine if a relationship is healthy and offers solutions for change if necessary. It will also help you understand what might be keeping you stuck in a difficult situation and learn what to expect when dealing with transitions and loss. Ultimately you will learn the art of living well and how to thrive and flourish in life.
Connected Conversations with Friends
A friend is a person with whom I may be honest. Before him, I may think aloud. –Ralph Waldo Emerson To initiate a deeper conversation with a friend, find a quiet place and sit down. You cannot connect well while in constant motion, looking at devices, or in a noisy environment….
Friendship Solutions Checklist
If you are uncertain about what to do in a questionable social relationship or friendship, use a checklist and ask yourself the following questions: Like – In this friendship, can I feel liked without feeling taken advantage ofRespect – In this friendship, is it important that I feel respected? What…
Leaving as a solution in friendship issues
Sometimes you have to give up on people. Not because you don’t care, but because they don’t. — Jennifer Green If your friendship is draining you, or lacking more of the essentials than it is providing, it’s time to let it go. Depending on the level of closeness, the loss of…
Communicate as a Solution in Friendship
I don’t force friendships or communication. If its not mutual, I’ll let it go. It’s that simple for me. –Rob Hill Sr. Current etiquette suggests about 24 to 48 hours for a response to texts. If you find yourself being ghosted and you value the friendship, you might reach out with: “Are we…
Doing Nothing as a Solution in Friendship
People change and forget to tell each other. –Lillian Hellman Do not confuse doing nothing with lack of caring about the friendship. It’s about keeping your self respect. When you stop initiating after three attempts, you are essentially doing nothing. You go on with life as if the friendship has…
Solutions to Friendship Concerns
Do Nothing? Communicate? Leave? When it is time to address issues in a friendship, your options come down to the same three potential solutions: do nothing, communicate or leave. Before you explore these options decide: Are you willing to fight for this friendship? Or could you let it go? While we…
Self Reflection Checklist for Friendships
Self reflection is a powerful tool. When assessing a friendship, ask yourself:Reciprocity – Am I good listener? Am I doing my part to nurture this relationship?Reliability – Can my friends count on me? Am I predictable? Can I be trusted?Respect – Do I treat my friends with the respect they…
Use Circles to Visualize a Friendship
I have plenty of friends I don’t like. –Julian Fellows (Lady Violet of Downton Abbey) At this point decide if this a one, two or three circle friendship. If less than three, what is workable, what you are willing to put up with? Social media without a face-to-face or real time connection?…
Use “Fun with Flags” to Assess a Friendship
If you feel drained after spending time with someone, that’s a red flag! –Doreen Virtue If you are questioning a friendship – maybe it is new and you are uncertain, or a longer-term friendship that seems to be fading, use the flags. Ask yourself the same sort of questions as you did…