There are patterns which emerge in one’s life, circling and returning anew, an endless variation of a theme.― Jacqueline Carey
At this point you might want to decide – is this a one, two or three circle family. If less than three, decide what is workable, and what you are willing to put up with. The obligatory phone call on birthdays? – If that is enough for you, give it a one-circle relationship. Reciprocity and reliability may be enough for us as part of family gatherings, but we find their values repugnant. In this case, give it a two-circle relationship. We may find we enjoy their company, but their lack of reciprocity or reliability leaves us with just more heartache. It’s another visual way to encourage a level of acceptance. Or not.