Family is supposed to be our safe haven. Very often, it’s the place we find the deepest heartache. –Iyanla Vansant
Respect means non-violation and families can be the place we feel most violated. This can run the gamut from inattentive, distant or neglectful to being verbally, physically and/or sexually abusive. This can stem from a lack of awareness to loss of control, mental health issues, substance abuse and/or being just plain evil. Definitions of family systems can range from healthy and normal to eccentric or dysfunctional and even toxic. As a result, we may be acting out our preassigned family roles such as hero, mascot, lost child or scapegoat. Whatever the case, if our sense of self is suffering, if we feel we are not good enough, or believe we are damaged goods, we need to take an honest look at our family system. The pain will not go away, but we can learn to make it more comfortable and experience remarkable personal growth in the process.