We don’t get what we deserve. We get what we believe we deserve. –Don Cooper
Being a good communicator is an acquired skill and most of us do not do well with it under pressure. In general: Decide in advance what you want to accomplish. Then ask for what you want. Be specific. Keep it short and simple. Determine if it is best to do in person or in writing. Understand the differences in the following communication styles: Passive is apologetic and tentative; sentences tend to end with a question mark. Assertive is direct but not offensive and sentences end with a period. Aggressive comes across as critical or angry and sentences might be written in all capital letters and/or end with an exclamation point. Strive for assertive. Be prepared to handle those passive-aggressive sabotaging snipers. They tend to be subtle, indirect and snarky. Response is best handled by calling them out with this snappy comeback: “Are you trying to be helpful or hurtful?”