Do NothingCommunicateLeave When it is time to address issues in your relationship, your options come down to the three potential solutions: do nothing, communicate or leave. Stretch yourself. If you normally do nothing, communicate. If you are the type to cut and run, sit still. If you are one to…
Category: Simplifying Relationships with Other People
Our greatest joy and our greatest pain comes in our relationships with others. –Stephen R. Covey
The trouble with relationships is other people. We have friends and neighbors, partners and lovers. We live in communities, we come from families, and we earn our living working with or for other people. This book and blog utilizes tools to help you determine if a relationship is healthy and offers solutions for change if necessary. It will also help you understand what might be keeping you stuck in a difficult situation and learn what to expect when dealing with transitions and loss. Ultimately you will learn the art of living well and how to thrive and flourish in life.
Self-Reflection Relationship Checklist
Reciprocity: Do I show appreciation? Do I nurture this relationship?Reliability: Can my partner count on me? Do I do what I say I will do?Respect: Do I treat my partner with the respect they deserve?Passion: Do I do my part in keeping sexual or shared passions going?Intimacy: Can I vulnerable…
Visualize Circles to Assess a Romantic Relationship
Romantic relationships can range from “chaste courting”, “just dating”, “friends with benefits”, “booty calls”, being an “item”, “living with” to long term committed and/or married. How would you describe yours at this point? Then assess based on the six essentials: reciprocity, reliability, respect, passion, intimacy, and commitment. You might decide this…
Fun with Flags to Assess a Romantic Relationship
I wish the pain of betrayal was as easy to ignore as the red flags that forewarned of it. ―Steve Maraboli This is a good place to stop and assess your relationship. Be brutally honest. What is working? What is not working? (What about bringing your flag display on dates? Just kidding….
Checklist for Romantic Relationships
Reciprocity: Is your partner willing and able to put the work into nurturing the relationship? Reliability: Do they say what they are going to do and then do it? Do you feel secure? Respect: Can you be yourself? Do you feel emotionally and physically safe? Do you feel valued? Passion:…
Commitment in Romantic Relationships
I hope we’ll get lucky enough to grow old together. — Paula Mclain Commitment is not about the formal ceremony. It is an emotional investment in your future together. I believe it begins when your toothbrushes start sharing the same holder. It is a frame of mind and if it…
Emotional Intimacy in Couple Relationships
Intimacy is not purely physical. It’s the act of connecting with someone so deeply, you feel like you can see into their soul. ―Reshall Varsos t is a classic couple’s issue. One wants to just be heard, the other wants to fix the problem. Learn to say: “I don’t need you to fix this,…
Passion in Romantic Relationships
Don’t pass up a chance by dumping someone after a first date because you don’t feel the fireworks. The fireworks can happen at any time and be maintained. –Helen Fisher Passion involves feelings and desires that lead to physical attraction, romance, and sexual consummation. After the initial fireworks, it can morph into…
Three More Essentials for Romantic Relationships
Intimacy Passion Commitment In order for a relationship to flourish, three more essentials must be added to the mix: passion, intimacy and commitment. As a couple’s therapist I begin a session with “What is working”? Their spontaneous answers reveal a great deal. I listen and watch for the first three, reciprocity, reliability…
Respect in Romantic Relationships
We don’t need to share the same opinions as others, but we need to be respectful. —Taylor Swift Respect means taking into consideration the feelings, needs, thoughts, beliefs, wishes, boundaries, preferences, individual style and idosyncracies of the other. While this is a very big ask, it is critical to the health…