I’m not in denial, I’m just selective about the reality I accept. –Bill Watterson Denial is a type of defense mechanism or coping strategy described as sticking your head in the sand or ignoring the elephant in the living room. The Emperor’s New Clothes is a story to explain collective denial. Denial can keep us stuck, ignoring the…
Category: Simplifying Relationships with Other People
Our greatest joy and our greatest pain comes in our relationships with others. –Stephen R. Covey
The trouble with relationships is other people. We have friends and neighbors, partners and lovers. We live in communities, we come from families, and we earn our living working with or for other people. This book and blog utilizes tools to help you determine if a relationship is healthy and offers solutions for change if necessary. It will also help you understand what might be keeping you stuck in a difficult situation and learn what to expect when dealing with transitions and loss. Ultimately you will learn the art of living well and how to thrive and flourish in life.
Learned Helplessness
Learned helplessness is the giving-up reaction, the quitting response that follows from the belief that whatever you do doesn’t matter. –Arnold Schwarzenegger The experiment for learned helplessness involved dogs who received a mild shock when attempting to change their circumstances. Eventually those poor pups gave up even after the shock mechanism…
Adaptation
People only accept change when they are faced with necessity, and only recognize necessity when a crisis is upon them. –Jean Monnet There is an adage that if a frog is put in a pot of boiling water he will jump out. However, if placed in very gradually heating water, he…
Quicksand
Be careful…not all are what they seem, some people pretend to be the beach but they’re actually quicksand. –Steve Maraboli We get stuck. We go round and round in a difficult, dysfunctional relationship unable to break free and we ask ourselves how did I get here? In this section we will…
Checklist for relationship solutions
Like: In this relationship am I trying so hard to be loved that I’m losing my self respect?Respect: In this relationship am I able to keep my self respect while still able to soften when needed?Do Nothing: Should I deliberately do nothing such as meditation or quietly sitting the situation…
Leaving is a Solution to Relationship Issues
I got divorced at Christmas. So I bought an electric train set and nailed it to the dining room table – because I could. –John Prine If your relationship is lacking more of the essentials than it is providing, it’s time to reconsider. You can do couples counseling. You can…
Communicate as a solution in Romantic Relationships
In order to get to a healthier and more productive place, we need to give up our fear of conflict, turmoil and resistance. –John Gottman Sometimes we must fight for the relationship we want. Saying, “I prefer to choose my battles” is a way of avoiding conflict. An argument may…
Doing Nothing is a Solution
While you’ll feel compelled to charge forward it’s often a gentle step back that will reveal to you where you and what you truly seek. ―Rasheed Ogunlaru Do not confuse doing nothing with passivity. There is power in not responding and moments where silence is truly golden. When it looks…