Intimacy Passion CommitmentIn order for a relationship to flourish, three more essentials must be added to the mix: passion, intimacy and commitment. As a couple’s therapist I begin a session with “What is working”? Their spontaneous answers reveal a great deal. I listen and watch for the first three, reciprocity, reliability and respect. I am also listening for hints of shared passion(s), watching for emotional intimacy and parsing out a language of commitment. The next question: “What is not working?” usually tells the rest of the story. I use all six as a baseline in my head. It is an approach that you can try on your own to narrow down a more specific are of concern.